They get frustrated when they lose
Tears, blaming teammates, or giving up halfway through the game
Why it happens
- Losing feels big at this age, and they don't have the words for it yet.
- Adults on the touchline put pressure on the score.
- They don't know what they did well.
What to say
✓ Say this
- “What did we do well today?”
- “Effort is what we control.”
- “I'm proud of how you played.”
✗ Not this
- “We should have won that.”
- Blaming players or the referee.
- Only talking about the score.
The drill ladder
Move a group up a level only when they hit the "ready for next level" sign. It's fine for groups to be on different levels.
Shuffle teams
How it works
- Short touch games, 3 minutes each.
- After every game, swap two or three players between teams. Nobody keeps score across games.
- Ask each team at the end: what went well in that game?
Coaching points
- The score resets every game, so nobody gets stuck losing.
- Mix confident and quieter players.
- Praise effort, support and talk.
Ready for the next level when: Players move teams happily and keep trying whatever the score.
Effort scoreboard
How it works
- A touch game where tries don't count. Instead, teams score points for effort.
- The coach awards points for good support runs, calling for the ball, getting back onside and encouraging teammates.
- Announce the points out loud as they happen.
Coaching points
- Pick 2 or 3 things to reward, not ten.
- Make sure every player scores at least once.
- Ask: “What did we get points for?”
Ready for the next level when: Players are chasing effort points without being reminded.
Every player scores
How it works
- A touch game with mixed teams. Each team's goal is for every player to score once.
- A player who has scored can still play but can't score again until all their teammates have.
- The first team where everyone has scored wins. Play again with new teams.
Coaching points
- Experienced players have to create chances, not take them.
- New players learn where to run to get the ball.
- Celebrate the last scorer loudest.
Ready for the next level when: New players are getting into scoring positions on their own. They're ready to join the normal ladders.
Comeback game
How it works
- A short touch game where one team starts 2–0 down.
- The losing team gets the ball first. Play for 3 minutes.
- Swap which team starts behind. Talk about what helped the team that came back.
Coaching points
- Behind isn't beaten. Next play.
- Praise the team that keeps trying, whatever the score.
- Keep it light. It's a game about not giving up.
Ready for the next level when: Teams keep playing hard when they're behind, without heads dropping.
After a loss
- Huddle first: one thing each player did well.
- Name one thing to work on at the next session, not five.
- Thank the other team and the referee, and ask your players to do the same.
Common coaching mistakes
- Only talking about the score.
- Blaming players or the referee in front of the team.
- Keeping the same teams all session so one side keeps losing.
- Skipping the huddle after a loss.
Related problems
SquadConfidence
The confident kids do everything, others hide
The same players take every restart, every carry and every tackle
WellbeingConfidenceSome cry or sulk when they're tackled
Tears after a tackle, players walking off, or refusing to carry the ball
ParentsWellbeingParents shout from the touchline
Conflicting instructions, criticism of kids or referees, nervous players freezing